Uncalled Encounters with a Not so Vicious Draco Malfoy
by Akirascrolls
Summary: Hermione decides to make sure that blondie gets enough attention to last him for a lifetime. Ron decides she is not to be left alone with blondie for more than is necessary. Harry tries to stay on the sidelines of the whole ordeal and fails miserably as both the whisky and his soon to be ex-wife get him to the edge of moving to Alaska and calling quits. Draco just had to deal.


Draco Malfoy had just turned twenty five when he heard the unlikely voice of Hermione Granger talk to the manager of the pub he commonly visited every Monday, a pub at which he only stayed for thirty minutes and consequently left at 11:30 PM, all in order to follow his weekly routine.

Occurrences like this were the exact reason as to why he only came on Mondays, no one with a rational state of mind visited a pub on Mondays, so exceedingly perfect Granger showing up could only mean one thing, and to put it bluntly, partaking in silly reencounters with nostalgic Gryffindors that thought he was a pansy was not on his bucket list, specially considering he'd had enough of them from the first years after The Battle of Hogwarts thank you very much.

"How much time did you spend lingering this time to find me Granger?"

She wasn't ready for the pressure against her chest and the hiss that was already edging itself up from her neck to her ear; the tip of a wand connecting with her thigh was however entirely expected. It brought memories back from the first time she tried to have a conversation with him after Hogwarts, Draco was still the same no-nonsense git she had known for years.

Hermione wanted to bolt out of the place. She regarded the notion of re-telling herself that she had been through enough in life to even contemplate that a person like Malfoy could and would be disposed to change. But damn it all she was never one to quit after only trying twice.

They do say third's the charm for a reason right?

"Okay look I just want to chat, there's no need for you to slaughter me in front of all these people Malfoy, specially when you let it be apparent that I'm not confortable with you pinning me against a wall" Hermione all but whispered as she placed one hand over his as a sign of peace, Draco just kept looming over her.

"Still dislike the idea of receiving no as an answer? The papers throw enough information about my endeavours for you and all your Gryffindors to have a party, just don't expect me to be in it" He let go of her and swiftly broke his way through the bundle of people that had gathered around them, Didn't expect any action on a Monday did you?

He was about to apparate to the calmness of his hotel when her hand touched his, again, and puke became a blatant possibility as he just kept telling himself to not vomit and get the fuck away from Granger.

"Just let me have twenty minutes of your time, that's all I'm asking of you"

Seeing her frame drenched under a grey hoodie as her hair got messy and her body trembled made him realize that it was in fact raining and he had probably been settled in place and looking at her for over two minutes. He didn't have time to look at her for over two minutes it was alreadypast twelve.

And fuck, it was such a cold night in freaking muggle London and he just needed to leave and make sure his last few hours half-conscious weren't spent freezing and vomiting in front of a stubborn Weasley that didn't distinguish when someone needed privacy from when one had enough time and vitality to chat.

"Draco, are you even listening to me? Can you respond you're creeping me out, are you alright did you take something? Draco please talk to me"

It was Just in that moment that the clearness of the situation got to Draco, he was already feeling weak and nauseous and it was too late to make a run for it. It made him laugh to the point of gagging, because Granger had to indeed appear on the exact day of his 25th birthday and make it just late enough to have a new amusing story to tell her friends about how Draco Malfoy finally got to the lowest of points in his entire life. It was truly priceless.

Had she gotten an hour before she would've missed the whole ordeal and the bloody papers would have sufficed with information in a few days, but she just had to find out before the whole other community of wizards that read 'The Daily Prophet' did, since she was Hermione Granger.

"Oh yeah, I did take something, half a bloody hour ago, it's supposed to kick in right about now really, so how happy are you to be the first to find out eh? Now excuse me whilst I wander off for a bit since all your chatting has taken up the little energy I had left to apparate my ass back to the fucking hotel room. Fair enough? Fair enough. Cheers Granger"

Draco's words became less and less coherent as he spoke; sluggish movements got him through about three steps before he collapsed on the asphalt in the middle of an empty street, his face hitting the floor so hard he was surprised he was already numb enough to not feel any pain.

It didn't take Hermione more than five seconds to reach the lump of Draco's unmoving body, her tears mixing with the rain on her eyes as she tried to cast a spell and do anything but panic. By the time she got help Draco was already unconscious.

Ron had been hysterical when he received a call from St Mungo's at 2:00 AM on a Tuesday, not exactly because it was an unholy hour but because they told him that his wife required his presence at 2 AM on a Tuesday in freaking St Mungo's!

Mione, I swear if you're alive your kids will know for forever and ever that you let me go insane over the idea of your possible death.

Apparating yourself whilst wearing pyjamas into a hospital full of wizards is just as wrong as doing it into a muggle hospital, he felt the stares threaten him from afar as he frantically looked for the nearest healer when the massive cloud of Hermione's hair filled his senses and he felt calm reach him again as her arms enrolled him in a tight hug. Thank Merlin.

"Seriously honey, bedroom robes?" She pecked a kiss on Ron's forehead and told him to sit and calm down, she didn't need him in such a state.

"Well honey, turns out your husband got terribly worried when he received a bloody call from St Mungo's on a night in which you decided to leave a note that said, and I quote, 'Went to follow the lead on Malfoy, don't do anything stupid. Love Mione', I was expecting you to be dead or worse, don't do something like that again, think of the kids Herm" Ron was obviously pissed, he never mentioned the kids in that tone unless he was pissed, Hermione didn't blame him though. She'd have him by the throat if he ever did a thing like that to her.

"But I'm alright, I'm always alright, remember I'm an auror, which means I'm practically a superhero dear"

Ron poked her nose and laughed, loosening up a bit.

"You're almost always alright, it's like a 97% chance, and I don't want to meet the 3% again. So stop doing dangerous stunts Herm, I don't want a dead hero partner, my best friend and his 50% chance of being alright are more than sufficient for my poor heart" Hermione kissed him again for reassurance and he just smiled and rolled his eyes.

A small crowd of noisy wizards had gathered in front of the both of them and Ron decided it was time to leave. "Let's go, Harry's with the kids, probably shitting himself since I haven't contacted him yet"

Hermione shook her head; she wasn't done here at all. Being out of 'danger' wasn't the answer she needed from the healers, she needed Draco to feel secure, to be stable, and that wouldn't happen just one night after a suicide attempt.

If she wanted Draco to be alright, she'd need to attack the problem from all the possible angles and then hope the response was one of improvement. And she'd need a lot of support to make sure that happened.

"Ron I need you to listen to me with an open mind, like that time you helped me break the walls of people that were against SPEW, I ask you to do that for me because you already know that when I do something I put my entire conviction and work into reaching my goal, and you can't half-ass it when it comes to me Ron" Ron gulped, he felt his hands get sweaty and began wondering how this woman he had been married to for some years now had suddenly managed to surprise him after many others of getting to know most of her wits from his time at Hogwarts. He was both blessed and cursed to trust her in the entirety of her person though, so he nodded and expected her to tell him something along the lines of "I want to be the next minister of magic and have four more kids!" but when the words came out of her mouth he stood there paralysed and wondering why in the bloody world do you want us to practically adopt a Malfoy?

Surely the explanation left him with more questions than answers, but that was just Hermione and her way of complicating things to the extent ofthe sky is falling. It was a good thing he was crazy for her though, if not he'd already have half the healers in St Mungo's digging through her every thought and trying to understand how a person could ever care for a being such as Draco Malfoy. Well, we'll be mad together then love, cause Merlin knows I'm not leaving you alone with that creep again even if I now have to be monitoring both you and the kids.

"No, no no no no **no**, GET THE FUCK OUT"

On Tuesdays prior to this one, Harry tended to work his ass off into any case he'd been assigned on a previous Monday, after doing so he spent about two hours talking to his lawyer Monica about Ginny Weasley and how the papers of the divorce were coming around. Seeing suicidal blondies acting paranoid was definitely not on his to do list.

Especially when blondie and him just happened to be old war buddies, give it to Draco Malfoy to appear after so long and be perilous of himself. There was enough chat regarding the death eater survivors that had decided that biting the bullet was better than being tortured to death by an extremist of the good side, he was too tired to deal with this one specifically because it brought back enough memories for him to open another Jack Daniels and call it a week.

I need to call Monica today, the bloody hearing is this weekend. Also have to tell Ron that his insufferable two year old hates my guts, one would think that'd be obvious enough after last night but oh no.

Harry gave a once over to the tiny frame of Blondie quickly diverting his eyes. Why didn't he just call him Draco? Because It was hard to do, even more so now that the only thing that resembled the man he had known, was the hair; it was getting so into his nerves that he really ought to leave now. The last person Blondie needed to see after almost dying was Potter, and Harry didn't want to fight him on that matter, mostly because the last person he himself needed to see after a night of looking at Ginny's stoic face through the screen of his laptop was a sick Malfoy. Screw manners, he wanted out of the situation now, Hermione knew him well enough to understand he didn't want to bring back any more lost memories than were necessary, and staying in this room for him was torture.

The healer that had doped Draco to numbness after he began yelling over Harry being in the same room as him was now looking at Harry and offering him a cup of coffee he didn't remember asking for. After drinking it and sending Hermione a quick text he left St Mungo's for good.

So we go home and open a whiskey before going to Monica's office, this day is sure turning out to be **fantastic**.

That first lungful of air had two healers in front of his face in an instant, and it wasn't pleasant. He coughed and assiduously moved but soon came to the conclusion that unless they cancelled the spell that had his hands bound he wouldn't be able to take the respirator out of his mouth.

Since when do we use respirators in magic London, these things are utterly despicable!

"Take this thing off me now!" Trying to speak as clearly as possible, he felt powerless now that the look on the witches' faces went from one of absolute concentration to one of horror as Hermione Granger apparated directly into the room. Does one get to do that nowadays or what?

At least his hands weren't bound anymore.

"I only go out for an hour and you leave him immobile? You told me yourselves he was out of danger!"

"But… You see"

"**We** weren't out of danger from **him** miss, this is a former Death Eater and we had to take as many precautions as possible" The tallest of the two healers spoke over her friend, trying to keep a calm exterior even though it was obvious she wanted to get out of the room. Hermione felt her expression turn from one of questioning to one of downright anger.

"Get out, the both of you now, out. I'll deal with Draco, if he's out of danger then there's no need for the two of you to be in the room. Can't even seem to handle their patient without a bloody wand these half-witted..."

After the two witches left Hermione sat on the stool next to Draco's bed and covered her face with her hands, she needed to sleep so badly, she hadn't looked this bad since the flippin' war.

Malfoy looked at her with skepticism, he had just gotten used to the awful lighting in the room and was now trying to fathom his current situation, he only had for certain that whatever explanation he was going to receive was coming from Granger.

"Harry told me you two conversed a little whilst I was gone, am I right?"

Draco tried to laugh but it hurt him so he just smirked.

"If you don't mind ignoring the fact that he didn't say a word to me when I kindly told him to fuck off the room, then yes we conversed"

Hermione got her phone out, took about three minutes writing and sending a text, and turned to face Malfoy directly. The smirk was still there.

"You know why your throat hurts? You screamed so much the first time you woke up everyone thought you had gone mad"

"Have I then?"

Now it was Hermione's turn to smirk.

"That's for me to decide actually, if I tell these wizards I find you to be mad you'll spend the next few years in an institution dedicated to treating survivors of the war, and you certainly know how well that goes for ex-Death eaters, if you however decide to stop ignoring me, you'll get a chance to redeem yourself"

"Are you a psychologist now Granger?"

"You actually want to call me Weasley now"

Oh so they **had** gotten married.

"Figures" Draco let his back repose against the bed, whatever they had given him was yet again showing its effects and all he wanted to do now was sleep.

After a few minutes of pondering in front of Draco's still body, Hermione re-read the notice that explained exactly what the man had done to himself last night. She was left puzzled.

Why in the world would Draco Malfoy choose a muggle poison over all of the plausible spells and draughts as his last resort?


End file.
